Sisyphus is Back

Sisyphus is back. The void is back. Either Sisyphus is depressed or he is very wise.

I think the better and refined your senses are, the more you will be able to experience life. By senses, I mean the six senses including your mind. It is both good and bad. The duller your senses are, the less you will experience life.

E.g. having sensitive taste buds allows you to enjoy good food more. However, bad foods taste more bad compared to what a person with a duller sense will feel.  Overall it is about experiencing it more. Could be both good and bad.

There is no point of living if you cannot experience life. You also can't experience life if you are empty inside, stressed out etc. I think intellectuals, people who focus on the big picture also face some challenges.

E.g. I enjoy drinking. But when I see the big picture, I realize the futility of drinking. It is just a few hours of fun. But nothing matters so can do this as well.

I guess some types of experiences enrich your mind/soul and are more lasting. Other types of experiences don't contribute to enrichment.

I think the most enriching experiences are good human connections and alternatively spiritual experiences. Individuals bereft of this will perhaps never be able to overcome the void.

Boils down to circuits again. All pleasure circuits are not the same. Some needs are more fundamental. Hence, the fulfillment of those needs is more enriching.

Most people spend most of their lives on daily struggles. It keeps them busy. Doesn't let emptiness creep inside. Also doesn't let you realize the loop.  They keep moving from one loop to another. They keep growing, enriching their minds and souls.

Perhaps a busy life is the solution to emptiness.

Sisyphus is contemplating suicide again. Everything is meaningless. Life has become joyless once again. Work is no longer interesting. There is no challenge. Sisyphus has come to the conclusion that this type of work  is not even worth doing. Why is Sisyphus doing it? Perhaps because of the gaslighting. Sisyphus no longer enjoys this type of work. There is little challenge. Nothing seems worth doing except new things.

Suicide was perhaps the only solution. The abuse may have hastened the process but the end was always going to be same.

Sisyphus requests that in event of a suicide, hackers be jailed for abetting suicide. He holds the hackers mainly responsible for his miseries. My family shouldn't get blood money. It should be donated.

There is no urgency of dying. It is just a fucking limbo.

Sisyphus has come to the conclusion that the only position in life worth having is number one position. Else there is no fun.

The struggle alone pleases us. The void comes back after the struggle.