Quitting Smoking Temporarily

Testing if I have the willpower to quit smoking. No intention of quitting in long term. If I go 2 weeks without smoking, I will consider myself to have the requisite willpower. Then will resume smoking albeit in reduced numbers. i.e. around 3 a day. 

Why put myself through this ordeal of withdrawal effects? 

• My experiments with life. 
• Some of my body functions have gone out of sync. Hopefully will regain some health as well.
• Important to know where I stand 

Smoking is fun. That's why don't want to quit. Also stress of the game. No point prolonging this mundane life anyway. Only objective is to be decently healthy whatever time I live. 

I don't think any addiction is difficult. It is about being an observer. It is all in the mind. Making your mind still. Become an observer and the desire melts away.  Desires and cravings may start in mind or body but can always be interrupted at the mind. I think Buddha gave a very important tool to the world. Doing nothing, just observing is a very powerful tool.  Very peaceful. If you can't still your mind, keep it occupied with something else. 

This snippet should not be construed as my desire to become a monk (I know gaslighting will follow).  I want to enjoy life whatever time I live. Smoking is a part of that.

Started on 11th April. 

13th April - The 3rd day (2nd if you count the 2 small ones on 11th April) brings headaches. But it doesn't bother me too much. I can live with it. The urge to smoke remains. Also drinking green tea. I don't think quitting smoking is very difficult. Time will tell. 2 weeks. 

• 7:45 am - The headache seems to be getting worse. But nothing to worry about.  Can live with it. Hunger has definitely increased. But keeping it in check. Headache all day. Headache persisting at 10pm. Quitting smoking is not pleasant. But still doable. 

14th April 

• 6:45 am - Headache persists. Getting a little sharp on the right side. Manageable. Nothing to worry about.  
• 7:38 am - Headache is negligible. 
• 9:38 am- Headache seems a little bad in the right half. Getting the urge to smoke. Still manageable.
• 8:35 pm - It was not a good day. Headache persists. Not much urge to smoke. 
• 9:11 pm - Feel like quitting because it is making me highly unproductive. But now, most of the things to be done are either mundane or need feedback or consulting. Testing I don't want to do due to hacking. So, either way, not much fun in working.  Hacking remains one of the major reasons for the destruction of my life. Hacking or no hacking, I will have to do testing. Will do it gradually. Spread it out over some days. No rush. 

May be will start smoking tomorrow. I think I can quit easily. No problems whatsoever. No point suffering unnecessary headaches. 

15th April

• 6:19 am -  Headache persists. Planning to stop this thing. Not out of urge to smoke but don't want to go through unnecessary headaches when I don't intend to quit in long term. The headache is affecting my daily life. Cravings I have been able to control without any issues. It is the headaches which need to be addressed. If I am going to suffer these headaches, it is not worth restarting again. But stress will follow for sure due to the game and I will resume smoking. So better not go through the headaches right now. 
• My willpower is not in question here. Just don't want to suffer unnecessary pain.
• 7:50 pm - Did not smoke today. Was running some errands and didn't get much headache. But feeling a little bit of headache today. 
• I think stress is one of the main triggers causing the urge to smoke. If there is less stress, there is little urge to smoke. If there is more stress, there is more urge to smoke. 

16th April

Thinking of starting from today. Reason: Headaches, stress due to hacking and harassment, no point suffering through withdrawal when I plan to resume. 

Total duration of non smoking - 5 days 120+ hrs.