Why don't white people leave me alone?

Isn't all this enough? Have you not used me enough? Are you not happy with destroying my life thoroughly? Still want to destroy my life further? Then why show me unnecessary ads. No interest in associating in any form. 

The person showing me ads reflects the mentality of white people. It shows how they truly see you. That clinches it for me. No further associations.

The person in my head is not a trustable person. I feel almost sure he is taking me for a ride. 

At this stage, I don't think it is self destruction. More about coming to your senses and realizing that you are just a pawn in their games. And pawns are always sacrificed. I had realised it long back but now don't have patience to continue building things without any sales or feedback.