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Showing posts from 2018

Deal Is Off

No deal now. All deals are off. The last date has passed. There are only two options now: 1. Kill me 2. Prepare for the death of others There will be no going back on my word.

Why dont people leave me alone?

Why dont people just leave me alone? Why do they want to mould me to fit into society? Time and again I have expressed my desire to live away from society. I will not change.  Not even a bit. Do all you can. I am very very stubborn. I am what I am. If there is no intervention in my life, I can think about changing. If you try to force it, forget it. Westerners: I am not interested in studying or working for you. You have given me enough grief for a lifetime. Just leave me alone. Otherwise the consequences will be very bad. It is going to be bad for UK no matter what. Indians: Also leave me alone. You have also participated in degrading and humiliating me. My family: Leave me alone. You people have been the worst. Torturing me when I needed your support the most. I need to retire or at least lead a semi retired life. There is nothing else to do. I do not enjoy working anymore. All I want to do is laze around, eat, and relax all day.

Feel Peaceful

I feel very peaceful right now. I guess I will take a break to enjoy my peace . A week perhaps. The only thing I want is revenge. Nothing else. I have realized I truly dont care about anything anymore. The peace is more of depressive nature. I am gripped by heavy depression. Constant negativity and harassment has sucked the life out of me. I thank quorans for planting the seed of retirement. I would probably never have thought about it otherwise.

Separating From Family

This is final 101 percent. The horrible way in which they continue to treat me leaves me no choice. No one should ever get such a horrible family. My family will always put their ego before me. Either they are stupid or very egoistic. They dont understand that I have the upper hand right now. I think my father will keep trying to compete with me. Useless asshole. Retired at the age of 50 and became a burden. I think western torture is over now. Now it is mostly my family. I have found peace without them. I dont think they will stop without subduing and humiliating me. Their only desire is my complete breakdown and submission. Truly horrible people. If I commit suicide, no money including my life insurance (if any) and house should go to my family. These horrible people should not benefit from my death. It should be donated to a hydroponic farming trust. My family has become pretty toxic. Best if I severe ties with them completely. No one should ever get such a family. Even after pu...

No Deal after 1st Jan

No deal after 1st Jan. Only do and die.

I have won!!!!

Do my enemies accept defeat? I have defeated them badly.

On Options Site

People in India do not have good knowledge of options. Scope seems a lot. My father doesn't even understand delta and arbitrage. How can these people trade options without guidance? These people shouldn't be allowed to trade without education. Simple put call parity is not understood by most of the people. Implemented a basic svm non linear classifier for predicting the direction. Saw an absolutely stupid implementation of linear regression for stock price prediction. How can people be so stupid? Such stupidity must be criminalized. Made me question if I understood it right. I guess good feature engineering should work. I do think that there are patterns in the prices and that stock prices are not really a random walk. As usual, deep learning might not really be necessary. Good feature engineering with SVM should be enough. Will have to brush up a little bit. Will have to go deeper to make it useful from a commercial point of view. Will backtest put call parity extensively....

On Punjabis

Saala punjabiyo ko randi banao. Punjabis are team superman for sure.

On Hacking

Hackers don't understand the domino effect of hacking. It makes my already tough life tougher. Hacking throws off entire routine into disarray. It is not like I have facilities for working round the clock.

Embracing Cold

Started embracing cold. Am going to do waist up naked walks in chilly mornings on a regular basis. Also started exercising. I think the torture is going to be endless. I need to become a killing machine to end this myself. I think my body can withstand cold a lot more than others.

On Theft

TAll this theft has caused me a lot of hardship in winters. Fuckers stole all insulation materials. Lack of water also causes a lot of problems. Fucking nepalis. Horrible horrible people. Scum of the earth. If I had water and insulation, life would have been much easier.

Depressed Again

Have become depressed again. Life is so boring. Quorans are mostly team superman and Ironman. I think MMT is also team superman. Have lost all desire for sex also. I think depression is getting stronger than ever.

Starting an Investment Site

Also starting an investment site. I don't think the needs of users are addressed properly. I guess I will give tech a break for the time being. Made good progress on the options trading site. A lot of features should be done by tomorrow. Dates are a fucking mess. 2 weeks should be enough to build a basic site. I guess I will have enough products by the end of 2 months. These products should help me retire comfortably before I turn 40. This is my end goal. Retire asap. Programming fucking sucks the life out of me. It is such a fucking boring thing. Made an initial plan of investment site.

Planning to Retire

I think I will try to retire in the next few years. I a m too tired and mentally exhausted by all the negativity in my life. The torture has left me mentally deranged and psychopathic. I just wish to be left alone. I have lost all desire to work. I do not have any wish to do any good in the world. The only thing I can think of is revenge. Nothing else. It dominates me day and night. I dont think I will ever find peace.

Back to Chatbot

Going back to chatbot. It is time to beat state of the art on stanford dataset. Get ready to see some magic. Options trading will have to wait. The god of NLIDB is coming.

First Draft of WL Done

First draft of weight loss site done. No point doing it any further without consulting, some testing, and funding. Basic app also done. I guess I will add a nodejs backend to handle api calls as it will be IO intensive. Essentially django backend for everything else and nodejs for IO Apis. Or maybe make everything async in Django. Need a consultant to determine the best solution.

Promote Terrorism

I guess terrorism related info can only be found on darknet.

Starting Options Site

Starting options trading website. will simplify stock market and option trading for everyone. Should be done in a week or two. I guess I will merge it with data science site. Finally making a foray into deep learning. Basic option analyzer ready. Very basic backtesting framework ready. Focusing on machine learning now for predicting  prices. Feature engineering is going to take a lot of time.

On Dehumanizing

I think I will be better off in a dehumanized state. Then things won't bother me. Better become a robot. I think single life is the best for me. I have found peace. No more worries about work or anything else. Will take it easy. Cutting all social interactions for some time. No more social media or anything. Social interaction is the root cause of most of the sufferings. Although it is necessary, I believe I am better off without it. In my case it is much better living alone. For me, t he benefits of living alone far outweighs the benefits of living with society. A dispassionate approach can be good in overcoming negativity .

Automate CA work

CA ka bahut saara kaam automate ho jaayega. I think CAs were involved in fucking me. Make CAs redundant through automation. Monal Narsaria ko unemployed karo. Make her feel useless. Demoralize her completely.

Horrible Family

No one should get such a family. Horrible negativity spreading family. I now know for sure that my father is jealous of me.

App Building

Building apps using App inventor. Will test a bit of integration. With Appinventor, you can get staryed right away using common sense. Will work on it for 2 days. Hopefully some integration will be tested. Basic app with post request and other necessary components done using appinventor. I suppose I will sync the devices with the phone and send requests from phone. Will have to build a lot of apis.  Fucking lot of work.

What I Want

I am worn out. All I want is to retire and lead a relaxed life. I don't want to exert myself anymore. Will do that after completing the projects.

Started Social Aspect on Weight Loss

Not sure how it is going to shape up. Perhaps will have to research it. Maybe just make the first draft. Finalize it later. Will need to consult human interaction experts. The site should be valued at 1.5cr plus for sure now. Everything under one roof for weight loss clients. No solution like this exists in the market. I am the god of weight loss. Funding should help me take it forward. Made a basic posting thing. Will do the rest later.

Bored

Fucking boring web development is. Sucks life out of me. How can anyone do such a boring job? I for one cannot. I will die from boredom.

Cancelling Home Trip

They will torture me. No point going home. Will probably live here forever.

On Sheryl Sandberg

I think economics references are due to Sheryl Sandberg. She should definitely be killed.

No Light At The End of Tunnel

There seems to be no light at the end of tunnel. Fuckers have caused burnout with humiliating dreams. Dont even let me sleep properly. I think US journalists are superman. I think most of the US people are superman. My father says I should run a senior citizen center. Can there be a worse father?Praveen sharma monal narsaria ka hi agent tha.

Need Funding

I definitely need funding for the weight loss site. Too many things to do single handedly.  By now, people know that I know about weight loss and my idea has merit. This is definitely the best weight loss site in the world. Plus has got plently of commercial opportunities. It can be refined a little bit after consulting.

On my Enemies

A lot of Indians are anti tech for me I guess. I think Mumbai is also pretty anti tech. Monal narsaria ka gang is also anti tech. Mainly m y family's CA waalo ka gang is anti tech. C hennai is also anti tech somewhat. Microsoft, Barclays, MIT, and UK are in cahoots. Upwork is also an agent of Microsoft.

On Atheism

Could be one of the easiest way to peace.

Miserable Life

My life has become pretty miserable right now. Extremely bad weather, no water etc. I understand why terrorists do these things to America. Fucking Americans t orture people unnecessarily for their fun. White people should be killed horribly. Why don't these people understand that I am already stretched mentally. It is hard enough as it is. Still they make it worse. I work without a keyboard which takes its toll. Fuckers hack all mykeyboard.I dont burn wood which makes my surroundings cold. I am living alone surrounded by negativity on all sides. Plus I have to do all my work myself. There is not an iota of luxury I have. I am not being a pussy. It is not easy being me right now. Plus the mental energy used in working is too much. I should kill my whole family who are engaged in spreading negativity.

On Big Cats

Big cats have it hard. Especially the females. They have to bear the cubs and fend for them without any assistance from males. But on the bright side, I think they live longer because they can usually adjust with new males. Males probably don't see females as rivals. Males have to fight to death or leave their territory. This is the only disadvantage of being a male big cat. Otherwise pretty cool if you have a big territory and females to do most of the work . Life couldn't get better in such scenarios. I would like to be a male big cat in such cases.

On Tintin

I think he is quite active on quora and engaged in demoralizing me. I don't think that he still understands that I play reverse game with Quorans. Tintin is also my enemy. I think because he is pretty much useless, others are useless too. He is a spy of the whore queen.

Becoming a Writer Cum Terrorist

After completing my projects, I will become a writer and philosopher. I think this is where my true passion lies. Will also give me ample time to pursue terrorism activities. I should destroy britain. Will give me a lot of pleasure.

The Future of Web Development

I dont think that the future of web development is very bright. It will become more of plug and play system both at front and backend in the near future. I think my sites are being hacked again. Just to annoy me.

Americans are the Worst

I have realized this finally.They are the worse than brits. They just want to break me. Nothing else. They are my true enemies. I dont understamd why the fuckers won't leave me alone. Making an existing situation worse. They pretend to be friendly but are in fact involved in fucking and demoralizing me. I just wish they left me alone. Their actions have caused me a lot of stress. They will have to pay. Brits are enemies. Americans are frenmies. These people have taught me that hardwork in a waste. I think Sean Kernan is instrumental in demoralizing me on quora.

The Fun is only in the Chase

I think for me the fun is only in the chase. Once I get something or near completion, I start losing interest. Thinking of starting something cool like airbnb for offgrid living. It should be fun.

On Startups

Too much work.Especially for a single person.Plus my desire for creating more than awesome products results in a lot more work.

On Living

After living in the orchard, I have come to realize I can optimize my living style to suit me. Just wish that people left me alone. Perhaps an equation can be developed for choosing the best lifestyle for a person. Everything is a transaction in society. Whether ot is social, physical, monetary, everything is some type of trade. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Fuck society and its rules.

Separating From Family

This is the final decision. There is no going back on it. I think I have found peace without them. They will not relent until I am subdued . I think I should change my facebook status to orphan.

Life Seems Meaningless

Life seems meaningless. I don't see any point of living. Everything seems so futile. Life is just so fucking boring. I dont want to get sucked into the vicious circle of life. Plus I dont think a relaxed and easy life is going to happen for me. Perhaps I am doomed forever. Gloominess engulfs me. Every inch of my being is sad. A sort of listlessness has set upon me. But I feel peaceful. There is no rush. No urgency. No hurry. No errands to run. No phone calls to make. I can lie in bed all day and it won't matter in the slightest. A luxury few people can afford. I cant help but smile at my fate. Pain oscillates between rage and sadness and emptiness. For now, there is no pain. But there is also no joy. Emptiness is what it is. Like a still lake without any waves and ripples. One hopes this will be temporary. Sadly, this has become a permanent fixture in my life. I have lost all will to work. Hacking makes it extra difficult to work. But I am past all the frustrations. Perhap...

On Jagdish Narsaria

Jagdish Narsaria says meri beti ko kyaa mila? Jagdish Narsaria aur uski beti ke paas tha hi kyaa?? Jagdish Narsaria ki beti ne kya diya jo usko kuch milega. Baba naam kevalam mila usko. ram milayi jodi. ek kanha ek kodhi. chutiye ko to chutiya hi milega na. chutiyo ka joda hai.

On Programming

The most boring job in the world. It sucks big time. I wonder how people do it for so long.

Living Alone

I think I will live alone for the rest of my life. It is quite peaceful. I like this mode of living. After all this harassment and constant surveillance,  alone time will do me some good. My brain has become overheated. It is a wonder I have not gone crazy. I have become so sick and tired of life. Solitude is the only way to heal myself. I have become too embroiled with work. Perhaps I will reduce my workload for the time being. Nothing to be gained by chasing money at the cost of mental health. I am back in philosophical mode. This mode is best suited for me. I have realized that whatever I do, I will be criticized and humiliated. My enemies will not let my projects succeed. I have lost all will to live. Even work seems so boring without any outside progress. Youtube is a also an enemy for sure. Quora is a complete waste of time. Useless fucks. Cutting off all contact with my family for a while.

On Brits

Tintin says brits planted the pine forests. Next he will say that brits built the mountains. I think Tintin is a british spy. 

Why Does West Suffer From Terrorism?

I understand it now. It is because the west is arrogant and has no respect for other people. They force others to become terrorists. They leave people no choice. They still believe in white supremacy. All anti west elememts should join together to hack nuclear power plants and devices in European countries. It is time to end white supremacy. White race needs to be eliminated for all the hurt and plunder it has caused in the guise of humanitarian gestures.

Existential Depression Returns

Existential depression returns with vengeance. I see the futility of life. There seems no point of living. I guess revenge is the only thing keeping me alive. The depression is crippling. I dont know if it is the result of harassment or existential depression. Maybe both. I guess there is something missing in my life. I am bored of work. Fucking society and fucking women. Destroyed my life.

On Europeans

Europeans should be paraded naked in the streets. Then my pain will ease.

People Are Going To Die Now

Despite my repeated warnings, brain hacking continues. People are going to die now. There is no other option. I have been left with no choice. White people should be charged with forcing me to commit murder.

Chosing Your Poison

You have to chose your poison in life. Living without poison can be a bit dull.

On Money

If you want respect, you need to have money. This world only respects money.  If you do not care for respect and luxuries, money is not that important. 

Kill Everyone

I should kill all the horrible people involved in hacking, degrading, and demoralizing me. I am going to dedicate my life towards hurting women. I am pretty much beyond saving now. Only desire is to spread hurt and misery in the world. The same way it was done to me. I will make everyone miserable. It is not about narcissism. It is about continuous violation of rights and dignity.

The Rational Person

The rational person is doomed. You have to be irrational. The world is horrible.

Violent Tendencies Are Returning

I cant control it anymore. I will snap pretty soon. I dont know why but my violent tendencies are increasing. Frustration levels are increasing. I think I have reached saturation. Frustration and depression are becoming more frequent. I cant trust anyone anymore.

Harassment Continues

Harassment continues unabated. 1st January is final.

Digital Marketing

Will work on digital marketing tool for the next few days. Automate all posting on social media. Made some progress on digital marketing Managed to get a few of them running including posting on the pages. User wall posting is facing permissions issue. Although google has better documentation there are issues. Youtube also done to a great extent. Will include ecommerce sites and social media sites in digital marketing suite. It will take about 15 days to finish. Ebay also done to some extent. Looks like it is going to be an easy ride. It is good that I am finishing all my projects gradually. These  people will not let any project see the light of day in the near future. I dont think they will let me win after putting in so much effort in demoralizing me. Better take the projects to near completion. Then finish them once the torture ends. The semi finished ones will have diminishing returns. Better to get more returns on these projects and get consulting on the remaining. I d...

Starting Options Trading Site

Will start the site in a week. It will be a nice change. Started the site. Will work on it when I feel bored.  Should be fun. It is on backburner for now. Will finish it once I am done with weight loss site and digital marketing tool.

Some Philosophy

I have become too stressed and depressed. It is time to add some more philosophy.

Filing for Separation

Filing for separation from my family. I can't live with the betrayers. Also need to live Himachal Pradesh.

Bored

Web development sucks big time. Too much grunt work. My life has become boring. I feel depressed. Need to have some fun. I think there is nothing left to live for anymore. The 1st January date is final. There is no point of living with this harassment. I guarantee people will die on 1st Jan. I dont go back on my word. You have been warned. I think I am genetically predisposed to depression.  I think death is better than this life. I have become heavily depressed. Dont feel like doing anything. I think it is web development which sucks the life out of me. It is just so fucking boring. Even sex doesnt excite me now. Seems like I am dropping in a limbo. Maybe I am sick. I think I have got some sort of food poisoning.

Digital Marketing Tool

Will also start work on a digital marketing tool. I plan to operate a number of sites. Digital marketing tool will help.

WL Site Progress

Web development is so boring. The reason probably is that it is easy. Hacking makes it difficult to work. Django packages are pretty cool. Most of them are nearly plug and play. Allows rapid development.  Startup journey is tough. Especially with someone in my position. It is difficult to keep yourself going in the face of so much adversity. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Yet, I keep going. I dont know why.  First draft almost done. I am bored of the weight loss site. Probably move back to chatbot after the Diet AI is done. On second thoughts will work on it for one more week.  Demoralizing also continues. There is no escape from the constant demoralizing.  I am surprised by the lack of common sense. If BMR can be determined using age and body composition, everyone will have near same BMR. That means there is no such thing as slow metabolism. Heights of stupidity. Such stupidity should be a criminal offence. The site sho...

Pursuit of Violence

This is the only course left to me. It is a do or die situation. Violence is the only answer. I will probably die or go to jail on 1st January. Violence and terrorism are the only answer to my problems. People have to die. Hacking continues. Harassment continues. Terrorism is the only solution. Kill millions of people. Kill everyone. Starting today, everyday my mind is hacked, the price goes up by a million dollars. This rate will continue till 31st December. After that only killing. Else, be ready with 50 million dollars on 31st December. Or stop it today and you will only have to pay 10 million dollars. If brain hacking continues, I may snap earlier and start killing earlier. I will kill in the next five days. Stop brain hacking right away otherwise the deaths will be on you. If I have one unnecessary dream today, people will die tomorrow. It is a guarantee. I dare you. Or deposit 1 million dollars in my account by 12 midnight. I have nothing left to live for. I will make good ...

Need to start fasting again

My carb consumption has spiralled out of control. Need to reduce it or start fasting again.  Cannot summon enough will power. Fasting is out of question.Will have to go for a higher protein diet.  

Year End Ultimatum

Issuing an ultimatum. Stop all hacking and harassment by year end 2018. Be ready with 10 million dollars. Otherwise people will start dying January onwards.

On Traditional Life

Traditional life makes me sick. Family dynamics make me sick. Maybe I am a psychopath and sociopath.  I want to live in the orchard forever.

Back to Zen

I am back in the zen mode. What is the point of working hard? More pain. More humiliation. No help. Nothing else. I will take it easy.

Electricity Hacked

Too much fluctuation in electricity. Stuff will get damaged. Better not work for now.

The Shield Will Betray

Fairly certain that the shield will betray.

Demoralizing Started Again

Demoralizing has started again. Horrible people. Horrible world. The ecommerce part alone will fetch a tidy sum. It will also show up fairly high on search results because of all the additional content in the site and blog courtsey domain authority and links.

Feeling Tired

Feeling tired and exhausted due to all the negativity and manipulation. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Seems like I am fighting an endless war. But there is no other way out. I have to keep on fighting. Despite all this manipulation, I have to keep moving. Defeat is not an option. The only option is victory. I should probably end all contact. Contact will just bring negativity. Just focus on some of my projects.

Feeling Depressed

Feeling a bit depressed. Lack of smoking perhaps. What is the objective of continuing to torture me and not allowing me to work properly?

Leave all Past

I have to leave whole past including family, friends etc. This is the only way to keep moving forward in life. Today onwards i am terminating all contact with my family and friends. Boycott social media especially youtube.

Indians Are The Worst

Worse than westerners. Demoralize their own kind for monetary benefit. I think some people in Naggar will get money if they fool me. I remember Ravi Thakur saying Iski laga daala to life jhinga lala. My brother is one of the main enemies. My sister as well.

Things in Place

Living conditions fine again. Things are in order.

Blocking Supervised Deep Learning

Blocking anyone who advocates supervised deep learning from scratch in NLP. I dont think it is the right way to go. I guarantee I will beat supervised learning using a fraction of time and money. 

Back to Chatbot

First draft of weight loss site almost done. The best weight loss site in the world is here. It is time to make the best chatbot in the world. Supervised learning, even if it is deep learning,  will be defeated. It is time for unsupervised learning to rule. Do my enemies accept defeat? Are they left with any other choice? Accept defeat and your suffering will be reduced. Accept me as the king. Charging working. Will spend a few more days on weight loss site. 

Hydroponic Kit Company

Will also start a company providing hydroponic and aeroponic kits for personal use as well as for farmers. The units will be completely automated. This is the future.

On Frustration

Every aspect of my life is hacked and controlled. It is so frustrating. I dont think my enemies want me to get better. It is only about humiliating me.

Laptop Hacked Again

Horrible people. Hacked my laptop again. Motherfuckers will not let me work. These hackers want to destabilize me. Horrible people, horrible world. Everytime something starts looking good, they try to destabilize me. It is very difficult to remain stable if everything in your life is attacked on a regular basis. Hacking has depressed me. I feel helpless. I want to kill so bad.

Senior Citizen Site

Will also start a senior citizen site. Will be based mainly on tracking solutions. Will remove everything else. Have done all the research. Sadly, the research is not available due to previous laptop gone to manipulation. Will keep developing sites till I get funding for chatbot. There is no point self studying so much linguistics. Or maybe I will.

On Social Media

I guess I will have to avoid social media. Full of negativity.

Systematic Degradation Continues

Systematic degradation continues. These people are keeping up the pressure. They will not accept anything other than my total destruction. But they have been defeated very badly. Indians are bigger enemy than the westerners.  Agarwals are the worst. Horrible people. I want to stay away from them forever. Sadly people like Thor do not leave me with any option. I will have to go back to home if the rain continues. Anti tech movement agarwals ka hi hai. Or may be whore of England ka hai. My father keeps demoralizing me indirectly. They want to put me under my father's thumb. The demoralizing is increasing. I knew it beforehand. They will keep discouraging me. Will not let me do anything. Only objective is to break me. They wait for a few days and then start demoralizing. Horrible people, horrible world.

Working without keyboard

Working without a proper keyboard is a bit difficult.

Maps Integration

Integrated maps in the site. fairly simple. but need to write details of the place. Otherwise can add more details in the backend using some logic.

Rain Has Depressed me Heavily

I think I will have to start taking anti depressants.  I cannot live in this weather. 

On Hacking

Hacking is one of the main reasons for problems in my life.

On Chatbot

People think my chatbot is limited to dependency parsers. Graphs allow so much more than that. Combined with other techniques, they will beat a lot of supervised systems at a fraction of time and cost. I can also easily incorporate semantic parsers into the graph solution. If you think about it, supervised learning doesnt make sense for NLP. Once you have taught the system how to process sentences using parsers, you shouldn't need to train it again and again. The closest thing is transfer learning. My  system mimics the human language processing system in a close way. The main components of chatbot are: 1. Sequence modelling 2. Classification Parsers and graphs do sequence modelling. Linguistics can also be used for sequences. Classification also handled using joins. Rest one can do tfidf or multiclass multilabel classification using ngrams . Add LSA for handling variety. I am the king.

Fine Again

Clean clothes, better health, good weather, enemies defeated; it feels fine now.

Systematic Demoralizing

I now realize that I have been a victim of systematic demoralizing and degradation. I am not sure of the objective. It has failed spectacularly. They couldnt break me.  All they were able to achieve was destroying my life.

How to Discuss?

This post will contain details about how to discuss and debate.

Science vs Evolution

Science has overriden evolution. Survival of the fittest no longer applies in the conventional sense.

On Demoralizers

Tintin se compost ka kaam karwao. Tab sahi rahega. People who were clamoring for my demise should be assigned those same tasks. Swami - Dihadi lagwao Vishnu Sharma, Pravesh, Gajju - Chowkidaari karwao Tintin - Compost Banwao Will write more.

Kill My Friends

I should also kill my friends. They have been instrumental in demoralizing me.

Work on WL Site

I have a good product on my hands. I will solely focus on it for a month. It will become a perfect product by then. Multitasking is becoming stressful. Anyway I am not going to get funding for chatbot in the near future. Web Development is pretty simple. It is also very boring. One of the most mundane jobs in the world. A 10 year old can do web develipment.It is so easy. I feel sorry for the pathetic and boring life of web developers. Just syntax. nothing else. No intuition required. I am white labelling third party apps. Will look like I have done a lot of work. Template integration on blog almost done. Oscar will probably require a lot more work. Placed my first order on Oscar. User names are also captured. Will allow a lot of features. Integration with login is one of the main benefits of oscar. Simply remove the authentication of oscar and it will work with your main site authentication. Will need to test it more. I make things look so easy. Now integrating paypal and templates...

The Demand Stands

The four choices stand: 1. Perpetrators go to jail 2. Ten million dollars - Not a penny less.  on account of loss of revenue and harassment. 3. People die 4. Kill me You can choose anyone. up to you.

On Tata

I suspect that Tata group is also kind of an enemy.

Living Alone is Peaceful

Living alone is very peaceful. I could live like this forever. Unfortunately, everything requires interaction with society. I need to find a way to remove total contact with society. I dont want to live with this horrible society. Nothing good can come out of it. Have to cut off all family ties. There is no way around it. These people will not let me live my life my way.  No point living with them. They have been complicit in destroying my life. Tired and bored of working. Work is so boring. Life is so boring. I dont think I am serious about my life anymore. Multitasking is stressful. I need to take up stress reducing hobbies. I am back to philosophical mode. Makes me peaceful. I think one way of achieving peace is not planning for future. Stress levels skyrocket due to so much manipulation. I need to destress. Self employment is much better than a 20 Lakh job. A job has got so much hassle and interaction with crappy people that it is almost impossible to do job. If it is a r...

On Being Ostracized From Society

Makes me happy. At least I will not have to spend any energy trying to fit in or defend myself.

Ban Google

Banning google completely from everything in my life. They are engaged in demoralizing me tech wise. Especially chatbot. I have to beat google. There is no other way around this.

Offgrid Living Site

Will soon start an offgrid living website. Complete with shop, event management, and other fancy things. Will be one of a kind. A lot of shop products will be handled using drop shipping.

On Elastic Search

I wonder if most of the functionalities of elastic search can be replicated using matrices. Plus custom deployment using matrices offer better customization and flexibility.

Nutrition Issue

If the plant food producing mechanisms are figured out in entirety and scientists are able to replicate the processes and improve the efficiency manifold, all nutrition issues will be wiped out.

On AIML

I wonder why people still use AIML even after the introduction of good parsers. There is no place for AIML in AI anymore.

On Collaboration

I think there is some shit about team work etc. A lot of references about team work are being dropped. I am a lone wolf and prefer to work alone. I ask for help when I need it but I always like to be the captain of the ship. It all rolls back to UK.

Sun and Winters

Enjoying the sun in winters is an underrated pleasure.

Feeling Disillusioned

Feeling disillusioned by all the nonsense of life. Health is probably the most important thing in life. A very bad fit of cough is enough to make one realize the importance of health. I am going to pay more attention to my health. I am sorted diet wise. Need to fix the activity part. Definitely need to stop smoking.

On Work

Have got a few apps running on wl site. Will start with web analytics for chatbot automated opening and context determining. Guess will work on both things side by side. Will finish a few more things on the weight loss site.

Demoralizing in Full Force

Demoralizing is in full force. These people will not accept defeat. An example is being made out of me.

Kill Whole Family

I should kill my whole family. No one should be born into such shitty family. Humiliating google is the only solution. As usual, they betrayed me again. After commiting to help on the weight loss site, refused to help once I am close to finishing it. Saala randi ka in logo se jyaada iman hota hai. Keep angering me all the time unnecessarily. My family is the bigger enemy as far as I am concerned. They are happy to collaborate with others in breaking me. I think they are getting some money if I fail. I can sense happiness in their voice if something goes wrong at my end.

Post Fight Melee

Khalil Nurmagemadov doesnt care about fines. There will be post fight melee.

Hacking is Back

Hacking has started once again. It is horrible.

Work in Tech

This will irritate and defeat some of my enemies. Especially my family.  I guess I will be back to chatbot in a week. Weight loss site is getting very boring. Tech is boring. Need to start a company as soon as possible. But will need to do a part time job to support myself and fund the company. If I get funding, it will be great.

On European Countries

I suspect that some european countries are also my enemy.

On My Sister

She is trying to erode my confidence and spirit in a gradual manner. It is horrible that a family member treats you like this.

What is Beyond Reason?

What exists beyond reason?Lack of knowledge is one of the factors limiting the scope of reason. We can only answer questions if we consider a certain frame of reference. I think philosophy will benefit a lot by considering frame of references.

Back to Living in the Moment

Have become stressed again. Will practice living in the moment. Will also start working on my health. It has deteriorated considerably over the past few weeks. It is time to bid adieu to my infatuation for Kaley Cuoco.

Living With Negativity

It is not easy when everybody is pulling you down. But my enemies are being defeated every day. They are dying everyday.

On Cast Away

Cast Away type situation is happening.

Need Funding

I need funding for both chatbot and weight loss site. I believe I have demonstrated the utility of both these products.

On Constructs

Social constructs are primarily based on evolution.

Everyone Wants To Demoralize Me

I dont think there is a single person who doesnt want to demoralize me regarding chatbot. Everyone wants me in a sweet spot. Horrible world it is. I never would have thought that people can be so horribly petty and narrow minded. A lot of people want to demoralize me regarding data analytics.

Completing Old Projects

Better to finish my small projects till I get linguistic consultancy. I dont see that happening in the near future. At least not for a few more months. There is no point studying so much myself. I am tired of learning. I am doing the work of 3 people. I definitely need funding for chatbot. Too many I's to dot and T's to cross. After all it is definitely going to be the best unsupervised chatbot in the world. Will also beat a lot of supervised ones. Will gradually start finishing old projects. Will start a hacking site in the next few weeks. Objective is for people to learn basic hacking skills. I have the content etc. ready. Just need to post it on the site. Will add a discussion forum etc. It will be more like tech for everyone. Tech explained in easy terms. Also need to finish options trading, medical tourism etc. I believe these sectors have not been addressed properly. At least not the way I intend to do it. They can be done later. A basic version will take a week. Then wo...

Feeling Better Again

After a few tumultous days, I am feeling better again. I think I can stretch the fight for a few more years.

For Quorans

Hawkeye can kiss Hulk's ass. I think Hulk will go hulkish when provoked. There is no way to stop it. Prince Harry is not going to be a good father.

The Pressure is Increasing

The pressure of proving me useless is increasing. My enemies want to deliver the final blow. However, their attempts have been thwarted time and again. They are left with their dicks hanging. I have won. Again. Defeated you badly. Suck my dick assholes.

On My Family

I am sure they dont have my best interests at heart. But I am stuck.I dont have any options for now. Especially with the water problem.

On Quorans

I think a lot of them are obama supporters.

Penalty for Women

What should be the penalty for women who lead men on for personal gains? I think in this me too age, men and women need to use a sign to signal their availability or unavailability.

WL Site Progress

Coming along nicely. Similarity in WL pathways will lead to a great expert system. Plus the logging and tracking feature is going to be more than awesome. Although have done a lot of research, a lot still needs to be done. Especially the complex interactions. Will work on the tracking system for now. The basic infrastructure of Expert system is ready but it will take at least one full week.  Better to build it in consultation with a doctor. But I can confidently say that this is the best weight loss site in the world. I am definitely going to become the king of weight loss. The price of the site is now between 1-2 crores. Authentication, permissions, apis, and some other features have been integrated in the site. Calendar, discussion forums, and ecommerce will be integrated over the next few days. A good way is to install apps and extend the authentication. Frameworks is too much work. I think using the webviewer in combination with other aspects of MIT APP inventor, good...

I like to be hated

I have realized that I dont care about being loved. I like to be hated. Keeps me moving forward.

Time Value of Happiness

Open Challenge To Deep Learning

I am issuing an open challenge to deep learning guys that I will beat their system. At a fraction of time and cost.

Leaving Naggar

Made up my mind to leave this horrible place forever. No point working on chatbot before February. Why suffer unnecessarily here? Plus I need to get in touch with people for chatbot and weight loss site. Will probably leave home in February. Naggar is an American bastion. More of team Ironman.   Mandi people are definitely Team Ironman.

Are Evolution and Intelligent Design Compatible?

Do they have to be mutually exclusive? Could intelligent design have generated an initial state?Will write more on it.

On White Superiority

I suspect that white supremacy thought process still exists. Especially in Britain. British are horrible people. West thinks that everyone wants to migrate. Fucking stupid people.

Leicester and Gujaratis

I suspect there is some connection between leicester and Gujarat. There are a lot of Gujaratis in leicester. I think Phil of British Gas ka bhi koi connection hai.

Boycott Google

They mislead and misguide people. Boycott google and all their products. Unsubscribing everything slowly. Unsubscribed google cloud also. Will sell my current phone due to android. Will buy a windows phone. Will defame google every chance I get.

On Linguists

I think the linguist was sent to demoralize me. But I think I fucked him.

Who am I?

In this frame of reference, we are the manifestation of survival instinct. In another, everything is self.

Living Alone is the Best Solution

The final conclusion is that living alone is the best solution in life. There is no other way for me to live. I am completely damaged. The stealing and hacking have created unbearable cognitive dissonance. Killing is the only way to minimize cognitive dissonance.

Removing Content From Blogger

Continuing with the theme of boycotting google due to their involvement with my family. Will boycott all google products in the near future. I am sure youtubers are misleading my family. I think google is the worst company in the world. Horrible people. A prime example of fostering mindless consumerism. Google should be banned. Unsubscribed from kaggle. Another step towards a google free world.

Markets below 10.4k

Once again I am proven right. It may very well be some kind of manipulatation.

On Being Used

I think I am being used as an example for society.  Especially on account of women. Have to leave for home. Motherfuckers stole water again. Once I generate sufficient resources, I will look for another place. Next time will try to find a rented accomodation. This way wont have to worry about theft or anything else. Don't keep anything except clothes and basic items. Rest all the problems will be borne by the landlord. Best way to have peace of mind.

Main Enemy are Indians and Youtube

They are bigger enemies. Sunder Pichai sucks. Youtube is misguiding and instigating my family against me. This is for sure. They want me to submit to my family. Boycotting google for sure. I am sure google is jealous of my approach. Indian politicians are also behind this I think.

On Kaley Cuoco

I have gone bonkers now. Suddenly the stupid songs make sense to me. I love everything about her.

Humiliating is Fun

I have realized this recently. I have started enjoying humiliating others. It gives me pleasure. I think the program had a reverse effect.Perhaps this is my true self. perhaps I am the monster people say I am. It is the ultimate primal pleasure. Feeling superior is great. I will reverse the game. Instead of letting others bully me, I will bully others. 

On Search Results

There is a clear pattern in the search results shown by google. I call it post and pre events. 2009,2013 etc. are the common dates displayed. Gives clues that this is also related to work etc.

Cannot Forgive My Family

There is no way I can forgive my family. But I just dont have any options. Kind of stuck. Have to beat google. Then only will my family accept defeat.Cant get any worse.

Chatbot Vs NLIDB

I think chatbots will require a little bit of extra work compared to NLIDB. It will have to remember contexts etc. LSA with tfidf is good for a simple chatbot. combine this with dependency parsing to improve results.I think deep learning is overrated. I will humiliate supervised deep learning arrogants. but long range dependencies can be hard to capture without using more advanced things like deep learning with memory networks etc.

Starting a basic course on Linguistics

I see no option but to self study linguistics. I dont think I will be able to generate sufficient resources. Better to self study. I am pretty sure I can beat deep learning. The more I think the more I realize my method is the best in the world. I wonder if deep learning has so many issues in dependency and semantic parsing, how many issues will it have in other cases. I dont think people were using dependency parsers for entity extraction. I have shown that they work.

Only Thing Left to Do is Fight

The only thing we can do is fight. Nothing else. Life is war. Especially if you want to live on your own terms. People will not let you live otherwise. It is a fucking tough world out there.

On Recommendation Systems

Recommendation systems are the future. Matrix factorization is probably the simplest way to implement recommendation systems. The issue of sparse matrix remains.

On Aggregator Apps

I think hyperlocal search feature of search engines will soon phase out a lot of aggregator apps. There won't be much use for them. Plus I find the whole concept a bit dull.

On Apples

I think everyone collaborated in stealing and damaging apples just to prove me worthless. What is the point of living in a world where people will go to such extent to humiliate you?? Just to satisfy their ego. I have to leave this world. It is all about trying to push me to rock bottom. Useless fucks of Naggar collaborating with my sister.

On Discussions

It is fairly difficult to have a discussion with people who are religious nuts. You will say I will keep an open mind. The nut will say you are 100 percent wrong.

Basic NLIDB

A basic NLIDB can be achieved by TFIDF or simple search on concatenated fields or inverted index and w determiner. Add a little bit of logic for functions, implicit entity and refining as designed by me and this will beat quite a few NLIDBs. I wonder why no one has proposed this solution. Can also make it ngram based. Joins can also be handled. Add graphs to make it awesome. If multiple columns contain similar values, use frame semantics or frame triggers to separate them. This will work especially with poor grammar and lack of column names. Am I a genius or what?? Accept me as your king. Accept defeat. Bend your knee. Pledge your allegiance.

So Tired of People

I am so fucking tired of all the manipulation, demoralizing, and degradation that I just want to relax. I think it will take me years to become normal.

Probably go Home in February

No point living in so much discomfort. I have already won the mahabharta. Beating and humiliating google will be the ultimate victory.

Weight Loss Site Progress

Have done the following: Authentication search engine html forms made the first draft of data model. It is going to be a lot of work. Need to wrap some of it quickly. Hacking is making it difficult. 

On Hoarding

People expect that other people will accept charity. Fuck liberalism. Extreme liberalism will cause the world to descend into chaos. Why should I give my stuff for free when I dont expect free stuff? That too to people who have disrespected and humiliated me at every turn. I can never accept charity nor will I do any charity unnecessarily. I have too much pride and expect the same from people. Whoever was involved in surveillance and hacking will be sued with multimillion dollar lawsuits. I suspect some of it is Barclays on behalf of UK. I suspect my family especially my mother approved the harassment. Harassment revenge will be separate. I wonder if people understand me even after so much surveillance.

Selling The House

There is no other way to raise funds. This is the only way to complete the chatbot.

Living Carefree

Living carefree is one way to live in life. I think my stage of life needs a carefree attitude right now. The pain resurfaces. It overwhelms me. In an instant, I lose all desire to live. I will never be same or normal. How desperately do I need to kill people?

Indians are Quite Big An Enemy

Including south Indians, bengalis, monal narsaria group, and punjabis . But I have defeated all of them. Their common motto is to keep proving me worthless. If I do something wrong, they will try to comfort me. Otherwise full on campaign of proving me worthless. Youtube will do anything to discourage me regarding the chatbot.

On Powerful People

Powerful people want others to fit in their grand plans for the world. They want others to be useful. If people start acting in completely independent manner, there will be too may variables to control.

Reintegration Into Society

Not possible for me anymore. Life is not worth living without drugs and sex. I feel depressed. I will work on the wl site for a week. I dont think I will get the necessary resources for chatbot till then.

On Quora

They follow a selective model of dehumanizing. Specifically pump and dump.  I let them pump me up. But  I keep thwarting their plans of dumping. They are left with their dicks hanging. Quorans will suffer. They have demoralized me a lot. 

Leaving Naggar

It should be renamed to land of thieves. Motherfuckers have given me so much grief. They even stole my clothes. I will have to buy a lot of new clothes for winter. Am going to shift to uttrakhand.one of the worst phases of my life.

On Fitbit SDK

programming it looks pretty easy. I think I will implement fitbit devices in my weight loss site if it provides relevant features. looks like the data needs to be obtained from fitbit servers. Can probably hack the device to get relevant data. The age of encryption makes it difficult. If I can extract the encryption key, it should be easy. But extracting the key will be difficult. Not sure if it it is legal.

On Art

Art affects us at primal level. The more it appeals to the primal level, the better it is.

NLIDB Progress

I think I will hit greater than 80 percent.

On Negative People

Nothing is worth the effort of dealing with negative people. my brother is the main enemy.

On Vijay Shekhar Sharma

Part of justice league.

Kill My Brother

cant do anything in his life. demoralizes me constantly. useless fuck. joru ka gulam. lowest paid among his batchmates.  I will go back to chatbot. not working on weight loss site. no point doing it.

On ER Graph

ER Graphs work as semantic parsers  (frame semantics) to some extent especially when combined with dependency graphs. This minimizes the need for semantic parsing.

Enemies are Back to Cheating

As defeat looms large over their head, my enemies are back to cheating. Hacking, electricity problems, and rain are just a few of the manipulations used to throw me off balance. Still David will slay Goliath. There is no doubt about that. Infact David has slain Goliath.

Full Hacking

Even the symbols at the top are overridden. Very irritating. I need to kill people to get rid of irritation. Leaving for home for a few months. No point living here. Too many issues. Even my health is deteriorating. I think it is the water. I think Americans will keep stringing me. Their end objective is to humiliate and break me. I suspect they are behind the hacking. It is better to live a relaxed life. No point suffering unnecessarily.  I think the usual charade of throwing me off balance as I near completion. Useless fucks. Living here has become a hassle. I think I have reached the limit of harassment. People have to die. Smoking is the only thing keeping me sane.  I think if there were no drugs, there would have been a lot more violence. I think drugs and sex are the only things worth doing in life. Rest all is meh. I will pursue more drugs going forward. This is perhaps the only way to lead a stress free life. Going to completely abandon the path of righteousness. Wil...

On Linguists

Consulted with a linguist. I think linguists operate quite differently than engineers. I think engineers are better suited for chatbot development. Will modify the approach to incorporate more linguistics. Graphs take care of quite a few linguistics issues. Marrying statistical approaches with graphs and linguistics and some additional heuristics should  create the perfect recipe. The call connection was quite poor. Couldn't get all the details. Will need better connection next time. I am definitely going to beat state of the art. I am 100 percent sure about it. A linguist sees problems. An engineer sees solution.

On Weight Loss Site

Dont feel like working on the weight loss site. Way too boring. But it makes sense to complete the site. Will devote next ten days to finish it and make it the state of the art in weight loss.

Will My Enemies Let Me Win

I very much suspect that they will pull some dirty trick.

The Desperation Of My Enemies

The desperation of my enemies is increasing. It can be sensed in their voices. My useless sister and her useless husband Tintin have been defeated like never before. They should kneel before me.

Fucking Crazy Rain

The likes of which I have never seen before. You can fill a fucking swimming pool.

Building My Search Engine

I will develop my own search engine. It has become important.

Cough and High

Sometimes, a bad fit of cough can give rise to feelings similar to other highs.

NLIDB Progress

Too much work to finalize. Dont think it makes any sense to do it without a consultant. I have made NLIDB look so easy. It is going to beat a lot of supervised ones.

On Teams

I think a lot of it started in UK. Especially with Neha, Deepmala Bharti, Phil, and some British Gas Agents. I suspect Phil was connected to the queen. Plus I had exposed some glaring issues in BG system which they were not able to digest. I suspect there is also some scamming issue related to my skills. I think ultimately everyone wants to break me.  Who are the players in various teams?  Team Captain America Obama Google Netflix Team Iron man Microsoft Facebook Twitter Elon Musk Team UK Chennai - courtsey my sister Barclays Bengalis Movie actors such as george clooney Women Team Batman Indians Youtube Vijay Shekhar Sharma - Paytm Sunder Pichai is definitely Batman Netflix Team Superman Dilip Singh Team UK women Justice League is India and UK. MCU is US. Chennai is UK. Hyderabad is US. Tata is with Chennai. Team Iron man is also a part of team UK.  Team UK units are one of the main enemies. The enemy list might have changed over time.I  think Captain Ameri...

On Artist

An artist lays bare his soul.

Am Sick

I am a little bit sick. Caught cold.

Novel Progress

It is coming along nicely. The flow is improving. I may have a winner on my hands. I think I will write a little bit more. I need to get it reviewed by someone. I am enjoying writing. This is fun. Dostoevsky in my head. I intend to write poignant monologues and conversations. Full of self loathing, self pity, guilt, remorse. Even though I don't feel these things, I will write it. Stopping the novel now. Back to NLIDB. 

On Pandits

I think pandits including RSS has also been involved in demoralizing me.

On South Indians

I think south Indians are also working in collaboration with UK.

Writing is Relaxing

Writing is so relaxing and stress relieving. 1 day of writing can relieve so much stress. The novel is gaining some flow. I could have a good book out fairly soon.

On Shitting on People

Why should I not shit on people every opportunity I get? People shit on me whenever they get an opportunity. Infact they create opportunities to shit on me. So many people are engaged in demoralizing and degrading me. I do the same to their agents. By proxy, I do it to them.

Make Up and Population

if women stop

A Week Long Break

I think I will take a week long break. Relax and free my mind. I guess no point working without considering efficiency issues or linguists. Perhaps write for a week or so. I dont have the energy to self study all this.

On Breaking Down

I think the torture will stop only when I break down. But there is no breaking down for me. So, I think the torture will never stop.

Now you see me 2

I think the rock bottom references allude to Now you see me 2. So many references have been made about me in so many movies. Both Indian and foreign. 

On the lawyer

i think the lawyer just wants the details of my family's assets.

Back From Dead

I am proving these assholes wrong everyday. At least I get the satisfaction of abusing these people. I relieve some of my frustration. I guess the people of Naggar are compensated monetarily for their support. 

On Deep Learning in NLP

I don't think it is needed in all the cases. I believe a lot of things can be developed on dependency or semantic parser..deep learning is useful for uncovering hidden features. parsers already do that. Deep learning is more useful for complex patterns which cannot be understood by humans. NLP is different. Here parsers can do all the heavy lifting. Graphs take care of dimensionality issue to a great extent. 

Three Options

Kill commit suicide get justice through courts

On Gaurav Thakur

british and facebbok agent gaurav thakur came to demoralize me.

Nothing to Live For

I really have nothing to live for. If anyone has any painless way of dying, I will happily take it.I am too exhausted by all the negativity. I sometimes don't even feel the energy for revenge.all the circuits are overworked. I think I have understood everything about life. The classic I am too old for this shit applies to me now. This shit being life.

On Scammer

I think a lot of people in the west (and some in India) think that I am a scammer. What can I do about it? You are going to have to pay millions of dollars in lost revenue.

Coding Trick

You just need a fresh look at a bug or issue that is causing problems. Sometimes even though the problem is very silly, it can be missed because of boredom, tiredness, or any other trivial reason. A fresh look can solve the issue.

On Being Bad

I think I am destined to become a bad person. There is no good left in me. I am starting to feel permanent changes in me. My mentality has started to shift towards criminality. when you drop self righteousness, it gets easy to live with injustices. but that very same self righteousness was keeping you on the right path. you shift towards criminality. man is not a machine that can be tuned perfectly. i think adopting a criminal mentality will help me with the pain.

On bengalis

they are one of the biggest enemies. they want me to submit to my father. working in collaboration with UK.

On Kaley

Just looking at her pretty face melts away the stress.

On Tom Cruise

i have a crush on him.

On Revenge

If your only objective was humiliation, then my only objective should be revenge.

Fucking Hypocrites

These people are fucking hypocrites. On one end they say dont take revenge. On the other they keep torturing me. What the fuck do they want? This is hypocrisy of the highest order.

Looking For The Worst

Everyone will look for the worst in me. I will give them something worse than worst.

On My Brother

useless fuck. keeps trying to establish his superiority. He is no better thsn a donkey.

No Electricity

my enemies are getting desperate. They are waiting for the impending defeat.

The Pressure is Increasing

The desperation of my enemies is increasing. They cant digest the fact that after spending so much time and money, they will have to accept defeat. I have won by miles. They are trying to increase the pressure. Creating more problems for me through mental torture. Trying to get me imbalanced.

On Anti Tech Agenda

Is it because of the whore of england? Or Indian politicians? Or my family?

Karwao saala shaadi

I will force the girl to divorce me. She will have no choice but to divorce me. I will withold all contact and affection. I will make her life miserable. I will force her into the arms of another man and then use it as grounds for divorce. I am sick like that.

Back to Drinking

I am back to drinking alcohol. Just because of the signals. They will not let me live in peace. I will go back on all the developments made in the past few months. I will become evil again. There is no point in being good. picch you are welcome to suck my dick. Picch is not a true friend.

NLIDB Progress

I think I will have to move without the variable path filtering. Will limit the functionality a little bit. Not a big deal. Can do it using other methods. Very difficult to get responses to Neo4j doubts. Not even getting a good linguist. I don't want to redo the queries. Or probably wait for a couple of days. Finalized dictionaries for storing things. Lists look inefficient.  This is for sure going to be the best NLIDB in the world. Even supervised ones are going to look inferior to it. 

The Power Of Doing Nothing

Doing nothing is very powerful. Do not engage your senses in any way. It brings peace.

The Bitterness is Increasing

I think the bitterness is gradually increasing over time. I think the last vestiges of goodness are exhausting. Only hatred remains. The good thing is that it doesnt torment me anymore. There is no urgency to exact revenge. I never thought that I will become this kind of person. But here we are.  I think I understand the pain of terrorists. I can empathize with their pain. The lack of justice drives terrorism.

On my family

What is the point of having a family which demoralizes and degrades you? my brother is part of the justice league. my uncles and aunts are also part of the justice league. my brother is completely against me. against everything I do. my sister at least is only against tech. I have defeated the justice league badly. Even after doing so much that too in the face of relentless negativity, my family continues to degrade and devalue me. Their only objective is to break me. Why would anyone want to live with them? The important question is: Are their actions forgivable? Is there any point of a family which will not support you even in this critical situation? I think it is better to leave such a family. Useless fucks. Filing for separation from my parents. It is finalized. Now that they have dragged this fight unnecessarily, I will claim my share in the ancestral property. I was going to leave it alone but not anymore. I will make it dirty and ugly.